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|Monday, June 24th, 2019|
Today a coworker complaining about lack of communication in her team said, “It’s like I’m supposed to... Google? What’s going on?”
|Sunday, June 23rd, 2019|
One year ago.
|My pretty stoop
Tonight, as I was getting home, a mom was preparing to take pictures of her son and her daughter, in pajamas, in front of our gate, with the colorful background. First they let me go in.
One time, I was up to the same in the city, when out of the house walked Liv Tyler!
We’d go to Target to get mouthwash. It was the event of the day (really, we had a dinner later).
I told him the windows should be open, and the A/C off. You could see the wind through the trees! He said he’d test my “hypothesis” when I’d forgotten what I’d said, but that it was too noisy out. “Always some excuse,” I said. He opened the window, “Daddy!” He said in a little voice, “I fell!” There is a playground across the street. “That’s my
scooter!” I said in a little voice, then added a cry. “That’s not diverse!” He said. It took me a few seconds to get the joke. Brooklyn.
After our walk to Target, in my new sandals, I congratulated and revered myself for always having bandaids in my wallet. (Yes, I could have bought some, but we have 1,000 at home.)
|Saturday, June 22nd, 2019|
|Friday, June 21st, 2019|
|Everything I do
Who is DJ’ing at Whole Foods? Here I am, in a massive line, singing Bryan Adams. You know it’s true...
I walked away from such line yesterday, and left my toner with some stuffed animals. (That’s why I had to come back this morning.) But when I was leaving, they started playing Madonna’s Ray of Light.
I love that song! I’m so gay. What if went back and made the best of it? I didn’t. And what do you know here I am again, cuz I’m too lazy to cook. I do it for you.
|And all my life
“Okay I was able to put out the fire, give me a minute to collect myself, and we’ll be moving shortly.” That’s what the train conductor said over the speaker this morning. After minutes on end of being stuck in the tunnel, with no A/C! You could hear people breathe. It’s kind of harder to breathe. There was a fire on the tracks, “due to inclement weather.” I had a 9:00 appointment, of course (it was about 8:50), but also I had gotten a seat. I was a millionaire basically, without a care in the world. When I got on the nearly empty train, with a plethora of seats available, I even had to make sure that that was
my train. New York could burn, but thank God for the train conductor. We were indeed moving shortly thereafter, and with the A/C back on! I’m still wondering if he did say, I
was able to put out the fire, or “they” lol. The patient ended up canceling, may I have a large side of T.G.I.F.? So I headed to Whole Foods to get my Dr. Hauschka clarifying toner. And all my life, I prayed for someone like you,
I found myself unable to contain, the words. And I thank God,
going up the escalator, That I finally found you.
The man next to me in the line, yes next to me cuz Whole Foods is weird, talked to the woman on the other side of me, about the song, which I was still mouthing, and he wished her a happy first day of summer. I didn’t get to say that I hate summer. My number was called, and my cashier was singing the song, and the cashier next to him was singing the song, and the happy man! was singing the song of course. I said, “We are all singing the song,” and then, rather uncool-ly, I realize now, I asked, “What’s this, NSync?”
Something lovely a patient said:
“I went back to childhood.”
As she drew a series of designs to test her memory. I’ve wondered if and when I need a test for dementia, I’ll be able to do better because I got to witness the test regularly. But the truth is that even with the regularity, I have to think hard to retrieve, in English and in Spanish, words like “tent,” “hut.” But sure, dog, cat. It’s a little bit like Blade Runner,
but we are proving we are human.
|Thursday, June 20th, 2019|
On some days I kind of want to take off my hair.
|Wednesday, June 19th, 2019|
(I said I’d report.)
|Tuesday, June 18th, 2019|
Well, it’s been a day of at least different
distractions, and rain. It’s an okay restart. As we speak, once again I am trying to take in THE MOMENT, and the reality of things. It’s kind of like when my friends’ kids were born, from one second to the next you feel as if things had always been as they are, now. You can’t go back. I am feeling anxiety,
a lot of it even at moments when I should feel tranquil and happy. Well, the one day I did wonder WHY, I got my period that day, early. Otherwise it’s really the IRS. I don’t suffer money-wise, until they start taking those big chunks from back in the day again. They’re on and off about it, and so frustrating to deal with. And when they’re on it I have no money left to play, and, sometimes I even overplay! Whilst realizing that there’s no meaning. *Sighs* I started moving stuff around & that shall make me feel better in some time. Luckily I really don’t want or need anything candy-wise right now, I mean, always, but right now I am satisfied. Lastly, I’ll rather invest in a nice wallet, or a couple more pair of shoes, and call it A DAY for a while. I got so many nice dresses recently. They were a gift from my aunt, really. I’d like to look NICE a lot of the time, try harder. Work and winter get me in a funk style-wise. I’m trying even for work! I have to color my hair ugh. It’s just time consuming, oh and I do need toner. And then
freeze the cards. Have you ever done that? Rose, face yourself. Whatever. Been eating light dinners. The smoothie craze is over cuz I’m always needing something for it & I hate going to the store, and the protein shake era has begun. I was just mixing it (the powder) with water & wasn’t too crazy about it, but I made it w a coconut water/milk mix the other day and it was yum so it’ll be that for a few days. I guess I will go to the store & get roast beef to wrap around apple slices, which John fed me the other day & I loved it. Maybe tomorrow. Gawwwwd the laziness. What else?
He abandonado las noticias otra vez, como abandonando a mi ciudad, a mi país (el otro), a mi gente, pero es que NO PUEDO aguantarlo. Hoy en día echo un vistazo y la seriedad
con la que se toman “decretos” implementados por un régimen ilegítimo, corrupto y asesino me vuelve a echar en la cara porqué terminamos donde estamos. No es una pelea, no se negocia con terroristas. Me siento culpable sobre mi posición, a veces, sobre mi vida,
mi fortuna, pero no le debo explicaciones a nadie. Estamos perdiendo la energía otra vez. La gente sí
se cansa. Obviamente soy más débil, desde mi trono, pero es que me molesta tanto cuando se toman en serio los payasos, los asesinos, y ahora sufrimos de lo mismo ¡aquí en el norte! Eso tampoco lo sigo. No puedo. No quiero. No lo haré. Todo comienza con las palabras. Y después un teatro de lo absurdo en el cual la gente paga con sus vidas. ¿Nos pusimos allí nosotros mismos? ¿Soy ingenua al pensar que a mí me va bien? Tal vez, pero me aferro a mi ilusión, a lo poco y poderoso del polvo de la esperanza y del amor. Deseo disfrutar mi vida, deseo disfrutar este momento. Quise ayudar, lo haré, pero por favor, menos consideración con los villanos, menos habladera de paja y más acción. Mano dura. Es muy complicado y muy difícil, lo sé. Disfrutaré: las chicharras y los días de playa este verano, el amor de John y nuestro tiempo juntos, la bendición más reciente e increíble todavía, nuestros planes, y pronto la llegada de otro otoño, uno de los más bellos de todos los tiempos. Otro comienzo.
|Monday, June 17th, 2019|
Well, it looks like LiveJournal is
working again for me. I had seriously given up. And right now I find myself in need of a diary, of retracing my steps. I look back sometimes, to see what was up. It’s a tool. But I’ve written so little in the last few weeks that it is useless to look. And,
I delete the rest of my traces, texts and such that could help me figure stuff out. Long story short, I need to write on here more, finally, again! And well, I was also telling my BFF, who wanted to call me, but my eyelids were so heavy, my body in such need of a shower, that I said no. It was almost 9pm for me, 6 for her, but then I was like, wait, you have some news? And she was like, I want to hear your
news. Right! I have everybody abandoned sort of. She said it was all happening so fast, that she couldn’t keep up through text. It is all happening so fast, I told her, that I even feel I’m not getting excited enough about things! That it all seems kind of... unbelievable, or like too much of a given, that it must not be true, that I’m going to wake up. And wake up I did, tonight, from a different dream/subject, nothing too
bad, just snapped back from stuff that was taking too much of my time. Was it a distraction? From what? Was it just coincidence? Or just something that happens and at some point something else happens that makes you see: I have to come up for AIR! And this is air. I’m sorry I’m being so vague about it. I’m sparing you. I want to take time to snap back to reality,
whatever that means. I want to, and I have to some degree, enjoy every bit of what matters.
My BFF did tell me, this is a magical time, enjoy it. I want to! I need to stuff my head less, and tell you stuff more, tell myself. Well, my eyelids are heavy again. Let me get my beauty sleep, give my head a chance to stop going, going, going, if possible—do make my heart beat! Do make me breathe. I am glad to be back. To tell you more. To tell myself.
|Saturday, June 15th, 2019|
Meant to write: sexiest
Typed and shared: sexist
Oh look at that, LiveJournal is working.
I haven’t been able to post from my phone in a few weeks, and guess where I post exclusively from?
It’s LiveJournal, and they’re not fixing it. But it is also my phone. I’ve noticed now another website that never finishes loading, either. I guess I’ll never get that pink wallet with pink butterfly appliqués?
What can I tell you? That I’ll post from my work phone? I have, but it’s a brick and I don’t like it. That I’ll download the app? I did. I do not like it. “Read more”? Of course read more! That is why I post, it’s an imposition on my readers, not a choice. Well of course it is a choice, but they shouldn’t have to click anywhere. It’s inconvenient. So I’ve been doing that a bit anyway, the app. It invented (and split) folders for my pictures, which I hate. Fuck technology. LJ was one of the few things that had stayed the same for years. We will see.
I am also, of course, busy. And consequently tired. Like life is a carrousel that keeps moving even when I’m sleeping. I haven’t stopped! And I am horribly addicted to my phone, these days, but it’s okay. It is temporary. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
Today finally I get to be home for a good chunk of time. I should now eat something and tidy around some. Omg I clipped my nails, refreshed the polish! Is it Christmas?
It has all been amazing. One of the tasks is to remember I am going through it, and it is so good. My wishes at 11:11, at 1:11 sometimes, have stridden closer to—or further from?—the stars. What was my carrousel analogy? My point is that I am well, that I hope LiveJournal gets fixed, and that I keep telling you everything about life in rose land, always.
|Tuesday, June 11th, 2019|
Oh yeah, just kind of pretty.
"Sketching, he wondered what his brain would have to be like to distinguish each of the hundreds of lancet leaves on a given branch and recognize them as easily as he did the faces of his cousins."
So God will think,
I got kin in that body!
|Saturday, June 8th, 2019|
|Tuesday, June 4th, 2019|
I told you I'd be back, and with one of my least preferred subjects, but a fave of yours? Food! Via fauxklore
1. How do you feel about golden Oreos?
We have room.
2. What is your favorite dessert topping?
Chocolate, in any form.
3. What is your favorite flavor/brand of bubble gum?
Watermelon Bubblicious. Mmmm. Mouth waters, blow bubbles. Currently, I've been getting Trident "Minty Bubble," which is like a tutti frutti flavor you wouldn't expect in a chiclet form, hardly any mint. I love when I share it and everyone
goes, "Mmmm," surprise!
4. Favorite cheese?
Extra sharp cheddar.
5. Favorite Lunch Meat?
Prosciutto. Like let's live.
6. Favorite ice cream flavor?
7. Best looking food?
Cake with fresh flowers on them.
8. Best food to put cheese on?
9. Best food to eat away from people?
As in get your own bag of salt and vinegar potato chips?
10. Best tasting drink in the summer?
11. Best tasting drink in winter?
Coffee (I mean, all year, but, that hot mug!)
12. Best food for a night out with friends?
I'd let them choose.
13. Best foods to eat with a roll?
Salami for me, and it better be a good roll.
14. Messiest food, in your opinion?
Noodle soups, but they're worth it.
15. Easiest food to prepare?
16. Cheapest food you ever ate?
Nissin ramen noodles, since I was in college and became aware of them, they've been 25 cents or under per packet. I like, love it actually, with an egg stirred in it and some lemon juice. I have to use my willpower and wisdom so that meal isn't a staple in my regular diet.
17. Most expensive food you ever ate?
Caviar, which I eat for the experience and enjoyment of others, more than my own.
18. Stinkiest food you ever ate?
I don't know. I can't even.
19. Favorite dipping sauce?
Anything with a sweetness to it, especially spicy sweet hmmm!
20. Best pizza topping?
Anchovies. Serve it!
21. Favorite potato chip flavor?
Salt and vinegar, the cheaper the better.
22. Most toxic substance you ever ate?
Hallucinogenic mushrooms. Or you know, alcohol, my body hates it.
23. Most calories you ate in one meal?
One time, memorably, I went to the pizza place, which is okay cuz I hardly ever eat pizza, although sadly it does keep growing on me, after all, and I ordered two slices. Since I was hungry, I impulsively got some zeppoli, too, and why not? A grape soda! And I ate it all (two zeppoli I think), only to, children, get sick! But I've probably eaten more calories than that.
24. Favorite soda?
Coke or Pepsi; they're the same to me.
25. Favorite flavor of juice?
Papaya. It's a Spanish thing. Water and a little sugar, bliss.
26. Favorite Vegetable?
27. Favorite fruit?
Red Delicious apples, which might as well be called Reliably Sweet and Juicy and Forever Fresh apples.
28. Worst canned food?
Any kind of pasta. Not that I haven't eaten and loved it in my day.
29. Best side dish?
30. Worst fast food restaurant?
I have not tried them all.
31. Best restaurant?
The ones that make me love even the greens.
32. Best smelling food?
Basmati rice. It is sacred!
33. Favorite appetizer?
I'm not much of an app person.
34. Favorite cookie flavor?
35. Favorite cake flavor?
36. Favorite pie flavor?
Apple, key lime, and lemon. I can't choose one.
37. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?
Chocolate! Mmm, the pleasure.
38. Ketchup or Mustard?
Mustard! I love mine with a little hot dog.
39. Best food to have with a near-stranger?
Oh I don't care.
40. Most share-able food?
Fries are for the people.
|Monday, June 3rd, 2019|
Ascending from the subway station is always a thumbs-up moment, but, wow!
|Sunday, June 2nd, 2019|