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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Rose's LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 22nd, 2017
5:58 pm
Rainy day. The lighting in my apartment exactly the same as when I left this morn :)
5:57 pm
The First Sentence of All Entries Never Posted
Edition June 2014 to May 2017

1) A Day in My Life
June 3rd 2014
I (once again go with the flow) cross state lines to meet Carrick, relax at home, and even cook.

2) I bolted out of bed at 7:30 thinking I had lost my ID.

3) I have so much fun with Andrew.

4) Today I come back from lunch and Rebecca's on a personal call (I assume) on our phone, "BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS DO THIS. YOU ALWAYS LET ME DOWN. IT'S DISAPPOINTMENT AFTER DISAPPOINTMENT!" She slams the receiver down.

5) [Subject: She wanted to live in the city, a nightmare] I laid on top of Mark (enough, right?), I rolled over, and pulled him on top of me.

6) "Beautiful, baby, don't hurt 'em!" A man said to me on the street.

7) Ay que lindo y calmao ese perrito tan lindo...

8) I love quitting.

9) [Subject: Nail Clipping and Dread Spreading] I was so excited about finally dumping my regular nail salon and switching to its main competitor, and when I got there, it was closed down!

10) I've wanted to do a live-blogging post for so long but

11) [Subject: My day in purchases -- Easter edition] This is what it's like when I'm not supposed to spend much money.

12) Remarks about today:

*I sneezed a lot, and every time I sneezed someone said, "Bless you", even if they were disgusted by me and moved away.

13) I was also told, twice in the same week, by dear coworkers, at my old job, that I was unapproachable and hard to talk to, even about things that were work-related, because my stance was that I was always right. [The rest of this paragraph is worth including: Um. Yeah. Well.]

14) The important distinction is that we both have said we at some recent point realized, "It's me."

15) Working in a hospital is kind of like surfing WebMD.

16) [Subject: 100 Interesting Questions to Ask People Around You]

Really there were only 50 (?)

17) I failed flirty cold.

18) Folks were jolted out of bed by the roaring thunder

19) [Subject: Most talkative interactions today]

(Not that I pushed for any of it) (well a little bit).

20) Sunday wasted waiting for/being with the repairman, which I resent an irrational amount because I don't own this house, but there was a water stain on the ceiling.

21) I'd felt a kind of disappointment that he hadn't been at the patio again.

22) "I wish I remembered what we played," my brother and I, in the waves.

23) 1) Why did you start blogging?

An old friend signed me up for it.

24) 25 randomly selected sentences (none skipped) from my diary:

1. Having to tell RyRy who I'd come w/.

25) "My impression of her," said mommy about the woman sitting across from us on the train, "Is that she is on the toilet with her pants down," I threw my head back and laughed.

26) A rain of Cheerios fell on the man who offered his seat to a toddler-wearing mom on the train (she declined).

27) [Subject: Le Machine, or, Conversation with my brother, today [+ commentary & explanations]]

L: Hello... My old Viber got deleted... Testing sound

28) [Subject: A Story for Josie] It all started at 4:25, when Noel sent me to Dr. E and patient A.

29) 'Meanness! [That's what she calls me.] You deserve an Oscar!!!'

30) 1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?

Every breath was new, but also I got an iPhone 6.

31) I want it to be like a game show.

32) Gigi had a cockroach in a brown bag, SILENCE, she wrote on it, Metamorphosis in place.

33) "Lies!" I said about the text Noel finally got from the guy he met last week, with whom he exchanged an unspecified amount of texts.

34) I was watching some "documentary" on carnival in Brazil last night that was so soothing, almost as soothing as the hot shower that awaited me, or the yoga I wasn't doing, then.

35) I'm a scent whore.

36) [Subject: My colleagues, and my relationship with them]

(in alphabetical order)

Anthony: I can't stand him.

37) It's like fucking sitting at the DMV

38) It was one of the extra credit words: cough (noun and/or command).

39) [Subject: My plants]

The oxalis:

The oxalis are thriving!

40) A white spot flew in circles high up in the sky.

41) You know what I was thinking about the other night, of Unchained Melody?

42) Don't know a deduction from a dependent?

Here to answer all your dumb tax questions.


43) I do not shop online not only because I need to see, touch, possibly smell, and just be around the molecules of anything that may be a part of my life, from men to shoes, before I actually commit to perpetuate its existence through my phone and the Internet, but also because I live in the ghetto and they simply do not deliver stuff.

44) The cutest thing I've seen today, and that is exactly what I thought, 'That is the cutest thing I've seen today': a baby girl's foot in a clear plastic sandal, silver specks sparkling inside the plastic.

45) Leonardo how's your Arabic? [--Daddy]
Pretty basic. [--Leo]

46) We love and hate Dr. Cosso.

47) 1. Is there something odd you covet, like paper clips or rubber bands?

No.

48) Noel and I are in love with Giga.

49) I just actually pulled a, "Can we talk outside for a minute?" (In front of patients.)

50) I've been cleaning out my iTunes.

51) Bud

Hut

Tent

Parchment

Yoke [That was just a likely abbreviated list of words which translation I can never remember in Spanish, and I dare wonder if they're sinking in for if I ever need to take an Alzheimer's test myself!]

52) My friend says I am Grumpy Cat.

53) (I know you love my translations.)

54) Step wants to go on a tropical vacation.

55) The people you see: a man with an eye patch and a cap that says Piano Technicians Guild.

56) Enthralled by a book, the fountain sounding like a waterfall, and a light mist spraying my skin, cuz of the wind, the breeze, I wished vibrations from my phone away, but I had to keep it on my lap (work).

57) I was reading some political satire today and I laughed so hard when I misinterpreted something.

58) By some law of karmic citizenship, my phone rang as I exited the polls.

59) FYI, starting early next year, New York State law

60) 'Pride is a sin,' I preached simply to my friend, regarding the fighting with her husband and what's new.

61) Amelia [this was a list of everyone I have a selfie with]

62) 1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car):

Caraota Cabs

63) So the salegirl at Target pretty much ruined Space Odyssey for me.

64) [Subject: My pictureless shelfie]

TEETH

I'm loyal to very few products, so I will spare you the pictures of the lotions and potions that clutter my shelves, and that mostly just sit there. [This was pre-Marie Kondo.]

65) "Have I told you about my crazy aunt?" Is how I start the story to my friends, "She lives in Syracuse."

66) "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you said," said my Siri guy.

67) "You're back!" I said to the server at the cafeteria.

68) I'm slightly amused by how lucid the wackiest of patients are when the doctor is not paying attention to us.

69) "I can't believe you're going to be-- busting up thug life."

70) "I did go to therapy,"
"You have to go continuously."

71) Hi, I'm waiting for the fucking bus.

72) The doctor said he brought me in to negotiate.
Friday, May 19th, 2017
1:36 am
I'm glad Joe Biden said LaGuardia was like a third-world airport, because it is.

Now it even has "informal" taxi drivers trying to pick you up like they're selling you drugs, and how can one not be tempted? When there is ONE LINE for like 500 people (I'm not exaggerating) to get a yellow cab!

It's shameful.

And that's just a part of it. Waiting by a screeching carrousel I even thought I was going to get Zika.
Sunday, May 14th, 2017
1:30 pm
"Can you wrap this? You wrap things so beautifully," mom says handing me a box. My cousin had an announcement to make: she is moving out.

Mommy has gifts on the ready (utensil set). She hands me some fabric. "She stole our thunder," "Scissors," I say, as if I were saying 'Scalpel'.

"Ribbon,"
"I don't have any," she whines.
"You must have some!" My mean just comes out, but at least I don't roll my eyes.
"You must have some," she mocks as she walks away. Then comes back with ribbon.
Friday, May 12th, 2017
11:06 pm
"You watch this?it'ssobad."
"Oh I love it."

"Hawaii five o?" I wondered if it was two o, but this stuff is in my brain properly.

"Yes."

My parents do watch everything.

"What's it about?"
"Police cases."

"In Hawaii,"
"In Hawaii."
Thursday, May 11th, 2017
5:35 pm
I take up my pen in a state of such great exhaustion that only my deep love for all of you could so compel me after a day of such Unholy slaughter and fear.
4:41 pm
"How do you feel?"
"Like a hamster.
How do you feel?"
"Like the hamster's nurse."
"Vet nurse."
Wednesday, May 10th, 2017
4:39 pm
IMG_5406.PNG

Credit: some awesome New Yorkers in the Bronx

Democracy & stuff.
Sunday, May 7th, 2017
7:57 pm
"What are you doing?" I knock on mommy's bathroom door. I am two again and she's taking too long.

"I knew you were going to knock."
"What are you doing?" (At the sink.)
"Shaving my legs."
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to the doctor tomorrow."
"Why at the sink,"
"Oh I'm afraid to do it in the shower, I can't see."
"I am going to the doctor tomorrow."
"But what if I pass out?"
Saturday, May 6th, 2017
11:03 am
IMG_5383.PNG

Credit: some awesome people

The only thing is that the "comandante" himself doesn't get to see it. Not that his destiny should have been anything else. And who knows? Maybe there's Twitter in hell.
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017
10:03 am
I LOOOOOVED Moonlight so much. I cried to beauty, and to sadness.

"You cry?"

Bravo!
6:13 am
I feel anxiety as a fragmentation. A dissipation. Everybody wants a piece of me. (Not the yummy parts.) A dermis of uncertainty. Fear of losing "control."

The TSA agent wanted me to open my bag. (It is that kind of thing.) What did I do wrong? Do not take my noise machine!

"Shoes?" I'd asked him before putting my arms up and going through the radiation. He nodded. I took them off and put them on the belt. The last time I flew they said Don't take your shoes off.

"The key is in my handbag" (which was still under radiation), I told him when he had taken my suitcase off the belt. We waited. "Did you get your Uggs?" He said. "No," I said. I was sure they'd be stuck on the belt, behind the rubber flaps; they're light. "I'll get them for you," he said.

"You locked it on us." (The bag.)
"You can open it anyway." (I did.)
"You have air fresheners. We have to test them. Here," he said.
"Candles," I said (travel essentials).
"Yeah air fresheners," he explained.
I started to take one out, I guess to offer him a whiff of Fresh Balsam? But he told me to leave it and just wiped them with a strip. We were awkward about zipping the suitcase back up (who would?) I put the padlock back on.

"You lock it on us," he said.
"You can open it," I said. And I thanked him.
"Have fun in Miami," he said. I thought about explaining.
"Have fun in New York," I said, relieved. He implied, Yeah, right.
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017
11:57 am
"I know the girl who lives there."

That's a bit of a stretch. Asshole.

I ran into Laura in the park! I didn't have to be in till 9:15am, so I headed to the park to have my Chobani flip with the squirrels and the birds. We left from the same house! (Laura and I.) She must have been a couple of trains ahead of me. She was already serious at work, on the phone, on a bench. I gave her some space. I encouraged Ryan to run late ('walk slowly') since it is beautiful out. I stared at the new MTA (MTA?) ferries on the East River. Of course I thought about taking them. I investigated. But it'd take me an hour just to get downtown. The train (even with the bus-added now) is faster. I got up to leave and had to try a couple of times to get Laura's attention, which was weird. Laura's from Delaware, or Rhode Island, I forget exactly where or why I know, but it's one of those places where people are really nice. She got up, still on the phone,

"That's so funny,"
"Yeah,"
She kissed me hello.
"I got in at 4am last night,"
"Whoa,"
"And my driver lived at 3XX,"

I know the address well.

"He said 'I know the girl who lives there,'"
"Yeah he hates me. And I hate him."

She said something to the person on the phone. It was already 9:15.

"'She thinks I play my music too loud,'"

I touched Laura's arm, compassionately, "Wait till summer," I said. "Well I had to be nice--" She moved in only a few months ago. "Don't tell my aunt yet," my landlord requested, as apparently I'd already shared too much about her new presence. Kathleen (his aunt/my landlady) and I correspond.

"I got the police involved."
"He said they're $2,600 speakers."

You know how much my rent is? To live at peace.

Anyway, "I work at the hospital," I pointed, dragged by the time, "I'm going to --------- tomorrow," I informed her, I'll text J later. "We're going to actual-vacation-place tomorrow!" Right next door.

Small world, city, block.

--

"It's not what you think," the patient said, when Dr. My Lady pushed down on the visor of his red baseball hat, "What does it say?" She'd said. She'd chuckled when he had put it back on immediately after she'd looked into his eyes with the light. He put it back down at the chuckle, but she said "No no, you can put it back on."

That's the kind of thing that makes me love Dr. My Lady, her humanity, she talks to people eye-to-eye regardless of the circumstances. She touches the patients. She listens! And responds appropriately, and helps... I tried to get an appointment with her for my airplane/stress/alcohol migraines, but she was booked. Yeah I could have gotten an appointment in some way, but did I really want to share my medical history? About my personal life? Were these really migraines was the question. And do I want to be on medication? I'll just get more over-the-counter stuff. I'll keep taking deep breaths. I keep blowing out.

Thread lightly, I remind myself. Which occurred to me.

Anyway the hat said something about gymnastics. It's rare I laugh openly, actually, at something a patient says, but I really laughed. Dr. My Lady, too, "It's not what you think," she repeated.

I got my dear one a Make America Mexico Again hat.

'Have u worn [it]?' I asked him the other day. He said no. That he was afraid of getting beat up by Trump supporters. I told him he should be afraid of getting beat up by liberals who think he's wearing a Trump hat.

I pictured it on a bookcase anyway.

--
Monday, May 1st, 2017
3:50 pm
But that any other eyes should see the residue of her thirty-three years, the deposit of each day's living mixed with something more secret than she had ever spoken or shown in the course of all those days was an agony. At the same time it was immensely exciting.
Nothing could be cooler and quieter.
2:22 pm
Sunday, April 30th, 2017
6:08 pm
Adrian,

IMG_5340.JPG

Six days old.
Friday, April 28th, 2017
7:58 pm
Dear Maury,

I did not know a woman could get pregnant with fraternal twins with different fathers.

Thank you.
3:37 pm
Oral surgery
Wisdom teeth
Cavities
Eye surgery
Blindness
Leave of absence
Medical claim
Medical claim 2
Call HR
Call insurance co
Wait to hear from insurance co
Fax insurance co again
And HR
Civil unrest
Scarcity
Insecurity
Violence
Physical threat
Violent death
Injury
Mental trauma
"Future-less-ness"
No little joys
Strife
Dictatorship
Locked airports
Parents
Family
Crying
Headaches
Pain
Incompetent legit President
Absurdity
Carrying cash
Carrying stuff
Separation
Theft
Identity theft
Chase bank
Life savings
Taxes
Tax debt!
Debt
More difficult job
Driver's License
Driving
Road test
Mark
Fitness test
Psychological test
Running
Saving the dummy
Shooting with my left hand
Running out of time
Lower salary
More freelancing
35
No child(ren)
No boyfriend!
Bill
Bills
Change billing info for ConEd
Change billing info for iTunes
War(s)
Racism
Discrimination
Poverty
Being behind
Traveling abroad
Traveling abroad 2
Airplane migraines
Quitting
Asking for time off
Summertime
The heat
The noise
My neighbors fighting
My neighbors playing music
My neighbors using drugs
Calling 911
Calling the police
The closed train station
Having to take the bus
Waiting for/on the train
Terrorists
Things blowing up
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017
8:14 pm
'Coolio', I ultimately said to my friend, texted. And my phone underlined it, to link to the artist.
7:37 pm
Happiness:
Walking into my apt.

IMG_5296.JPG
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