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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Rose's LiveJournal:

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Friday, July 21st, 2017
5:45 pm
"I have to find the perfect seat!" Said the really high voice (little girl).

I had been doing the same thing. As I walked along the platform, I looked into the cars looking for lone adults (skipping couples and groups that would be running their mouths).

I found one. I sat by a window. "A geographer always gets a window seat," a geography professor of mine used to say, and apparently I am one! (And a New Yorker who needs quiet.)

The high voice settled two rows ahead of me, of course. That was the perfect seat. A man got up and left the car. Soon enough, an Indian woman approached the high voice and her mom, and asked if she could sit there, that she needed the outlet to charge her phone.

Tough fucking luck lady. Keep walking, I would have said. At least my mind did. The mom felt along the same lines, "Well, that is why we are sitting here," she said. "But there's two [outlets]!" Said the high voice.

Oh, no. There was only one.

"Well, I don't really need to charge my phone right now," the high voice insisted. And she gave up her perfect seat.
Wednesday, July 19th, 2017
11:00 pm
10:59 pm
T-shirt:
NEW
YRK
CTY
Tuesday, July 18th, 2017
4:16 pm
Things that are really working out for me:
having three pens in my dirty work tote

edit: *five
Monday, July 17th, 2017
5:59 pm
Things I don't have time for:
mail

(except for the handwritten kind)
4:30 pm
Oh my God. I just ran into someone in the elevator, she made me realize: "You served me as interpreter," and I was nice. "Oh yeah, you look familiar," I said, and meant, though I couldn't quite place her face. I tried to picture her in a hospital gown, and she looked just as familiar. "How are you?" I said. In the formal way I asked, the question in Spanish could be interpreted as either, "How are you?" Or, "How is he/she?"

"He passed," she said, and held the folder in her arms a little tighter.

Then I did remember who she was.

"What a shame," I said, which in Spanish could also be interpreted as, "How embarrassing." I couldn't think of the actual, ceremonial words one must say, the doors opened. We all got off in the lobby. She had just said she was looking for the medical records office, "I'll show you where it is," I said, determined (to take them there).

The surgeon Josie wants me to marry held the elevator door open while they (now) explained further what they needed to find, "Are you all going up?" He announced. "No. Thank you," I said, and looked back at the card they were showing me. It was actually for a home care agency the hospital works with. I don't know if they have an office, "I don't know if they have an office...--" I was useless. "I'm sorry," I said as they walked ahead. Lo lamento, the phrase I told my students is a little more heartfelt than I'm sorry. A lament. But still, not what one... says.
Sunday, July 16th, 2017
11:26 pm
Like Two Bells on One Camel
Love is thirsting to drink
and seeks another with that thirst.
This love and that lover
are at each other's heels,
like Day and Night.
Day is in love with Night
and has lost control of itself;
when you look inwardly,
you will see that Night
is even more in love with it.
Never for one instant
do they cease from seeking;
never for one moment
do they stop pursuing each other.
This one has caught the foot of that one,
and that one has the ear of this one.
This one is distraught with that one,
and that one is beside itself for this one.
In the heart of the beloved
the lover is all that matters.

In the lover's heart you will find
nothing but the beloved:
there nothing keeps them apart.
These two bells are on one camel:
how could they ever think of
"Visit me once a week."
Did anyone ever pay
recurring visits to himself?
Saturday, July 15th, 2017
2:54 am
A glimpse inside my head. My dream
1.

I am on the beach sitting on a playground roundabout covered in sand (it is not spinning). I have too many things (stuff, objects). I'm trying to control them all. I spit toward the center of the wheel. I want the spit to be gone. I should have spat out, but I hear a couple of women talking behind me. I see an insect and I grab a book from the pile. I want to kill it. I need a small softcover. I miss. The bug gets lost among my things and I think I'll learn to live with it, then. I will not worry about it. I settle. A rock glistens in the sand. I pick it up and rub its smooth surface with my thumb. I want to keep it. I think, But I already have opalite. I turn it over and it's an opalite triangle seashell. It looks so beautiful in my fingers. In the sunlight. I want to take a picture. Marlon passes by and says, "Hi Rose." It is Marlon, shirtless, black, in his glasses [Marlon was a talker I once worked with and used to avoid]. I want to ask the two (black) ladies, if he knows me.

2.

A sparse crowd in a buzz of talk and event, around hanging heads. I approach my father. I tell him they are beating nicolas maduro like a piñata, "Like it should have been done from the beginning," I say crudely. I see the head of nicolas maduro hanging. I see the head of tibisay lucena hanging. But I also see the head of Leopoldo Lopez hanging. I think about his wife. There's another head. I've turned around, walked away. I imagine it was a bomb. In a building, with everyone. I shudder at the war.

3.

A shirtless white man is holding a baby in diapers. He is feeding him a bottle. We are going to have some kind of swinger sex after he is done (even though I have no partner). He's telling the baby things like his bottle is all fat and sugar. I say, "Mine too," about my drinks. The man says to me, "I'm going to blow your mind."

I chuckle.

--

Then my body moved and I rubbed or scratched a cluster of mosquito bites I have just discovered on the back on my shoulder, and I woke up.
Thursday, July 13th, 2017
2:49 pm
"Meconium was repeated several times; I remembered the word from birth class: excrement. Meconium has been aspirated leading to PPHN. Or PPHM. He was talking slowly but it wasn't slow enough. Nitric oxide. Ventilator. We nodded again and again. We were actors nodding on TV, bad actors who couldn't make anything look real. He finished with the words closely monitored. We forgot to ask if the baby would live."
Wednesday, July 12th, 2017
5:29 pm
I miss Noel, too.

"You're the only person I like being codependent with here," I once told him.

'Where are you?' '¿Dónde estás?' We texted each other unabashedly during down time.

And we'd laugh (as necessary, therapeutically) about the cases. He'd tell me about the speech therapist who was too pregnant to be working.

"She collapses in that chair,"
"She doesn't care anymore,"
"And just starts rubbing her belly. She was like, 'Is he going to puke?' [The patient.] She panics, 'If he pukes, I'm going to puke!'
'Girl if you puke I'm going to puke!'"

(It's the way he says these things.)

In one of our last conversations, about work, he was already free-lancing at NYU, which is a better hospital, a fact that provided us with many laughs as well. I kept pressing him for information.

"It was a support group!"
"The worst. For what?"
"All these syndromes, for the moms,"
(Those assignments really make your head spin.)
"It was like you and me talking stupid things and some idiot over there [he pointed] interpreting.
The syndrome this, and the syndrome that."

We were enjoying the cafeteria's barbecue roast beef, which is equal parts poisonous and delicious, our favorite.

"They did a good job," he'd say after every few mouthfuls.
4:33 pm
My day starts to wrap up as it began, except that 11 patients later I just stand there and you better come to me and kiss my feet, and I can't even say hello. Or that's all I'll say, its abbreviation, hi.

The doctor was a pregnant person. I thought that I did know her, but I swear I don't go fishing for doctors. I have them paged overhead if they're not ready the sec I get there (11 patients! And their providers, plus the one I was about to get).

We talked about pain, some more (and death).

The pregnant-person doctor pulled up a chair and sat and texted through most of the bedside meeting. At the end she did apologize (for her "distraction"). When we exited, she told me, to my surprise (cuz I'd really been so grouchy to the team), that she loved when they got me as an interpreter, because I interpret in real time.

...

"How are you?" She then said (as in we do know each other).
"Good," I said again, while getting another signature. She'd already asked me.
11:39 am
"Here's the Spanish interpreter.

Can you give us ten minutes?"

"Not ten minutes." [Good morning.]

This doctor has a pretty, unsmiling mouth, like mine.

"Five minutes?"

"Okay." I smiled.

Another attending who was standing by the group said, "I only need one minute."

Of course I can give them ten minutes, if they ask for five (or one). I filled the waiting with the measly paperwork, and when six minutes had passed by, I got close to the group again (expecting to wait some more). The pretty, unsmiling doctor wrapped it up, and said to me, "We're ready!" And I smiled with my teeth.

I miss Ry Ry. I didn't understand things like when he got so worked up about inefficiency. I'd given up, I'd tell him. Some things just are as they are. But as soon as he left, I found myself fighting for what was right. And I felt alone. One time, at the cusp of a battle, I texted him furiously, one of those long texts that mean you should talk, and he busted out of the stairwell right by me! Flustered, sweating, looking for some office to drop off some papers. We talked (commiserated). We walked. We found the office. It was nearly 5pm, and before we exited the building, he changed in the stairwell. "You don't mind, do you?" I suggested it. He had kept looking around as if he could take off his shirt in the middle of a hospital lobby, however empty. (I thought he'd meant he would change his shirt, but there he was in his underwear once again.) "Like Batman," I said, checking out his bod (except that he was going to Fire Island).

"Run your finger down my arm," he said. It really had gotten humid and heavy outside. I did. "Ew!" I said, and waited for my finger to dry, for some reason I didn't just wipe it.

"I really like the way you interpret,"

The pretty, unsmiling doctor said to me after we left the patient's room. Never mind the compliment, I am always so pleased by her actual humility. It is not an act! Like my waiting games.

My brother told me that the UN is actually ran by the interpreters' schedule. That they don't wait or go past their scheduled time. I, too, have always enforced my preference for clock time, at work. The best doctors I've ever worked with stick to clock time!

But I always do round up to fives and tens.

"Can you wait five minutes?" The doctor I saw next asked.

"But only five minutes," I said, and meant.

Then I got prompted into a text schpiel (with the new dispatcher) about how, 'Don't worry,' I only help providers who had been assigned an interpreter, by the office, 'Otherwise they'd be pulling me by the elbows all day.' And then I helped a nurse, who kind of just pulled me by the elbow. I made him call the office, but before they could call him back, I agreed to help him for the "Two minutes," he requested.

I really need to read me some Emerson (Nominalist and Realist?). It's what helps me the most when I am on the floor. Maybe it's the humidity pressing down, now. But for a few weeks I've made decisions that I don't quite understand, and felt I'm going against my own, usual grain. And the plans that I have made (the ones I can control on my own) do connect me to what I need. But I fear they'll pull me further away from what I feel I want.

Someone almost just asked me if I could help her. I said I did have another interpretation, "In a few minutes." And I do.
Tuesday, July 11th, 2017
3:22 pm
From seaivy

7/10/17

What's your favorite cereal?

Right now I'm in a Honeynut Cheerios phase.

Is there a bus stop near your house?

Yes, THANK GOD there's one right down the block, closer than the currently-closed-for-repairs train station (have I complained about that enough?), actually. [But I still prefer taking the train.]

Do you prefer red wine or white wine?

Red. I got it in my head that white is more likely to give me a headache.

What's the last airport you were at? Why were you there?

LaGuardia. Because I mistakingly thought that the 10-15 minutes I would save (should have saved) on the drive back home were worth flying into that hellish, third-world airport.

Who do you live with? (with whom do you live?)

No one. (No-body.)

Do you read reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like?

No. I don't know [or care] what reddit is (though I've read the word). I mean maybe after a sentence or two of definition I'd most likely decide I am indeed not interested.

Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend?

Yes. I feel I'm always doing that. It seems these days that people only need the phone/net version of you though.

What's the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside?

It was hot, but so breezy! So yes being out was nice. Later on you could feel the humidity building up though, so walking home wasn't as nice & I installed myself in front of the A/C as soon as I got home.

Do you know anyone who's had a baby recently?

Yes. My friend Lori had Adrian in April. And my friend Melissa had Cormac in October.

Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down?

Yes, a pen. My name, the date, times, hospital locations, doc's names, and numbers.

What does your last text message say and who is it from?

You're welcome. Thank you for using 311 Text.

A 311 operator.

Can you count how many times you've seen your favourite film?

I don't have one.

When was the last time you ate marshmallows?

Probably last year. My parents got me into it at an older age (they're such snackers!), and I crave and get a bag about once a year.

Do you listen to any podcasts? How do you listen to them?

No. I mean I've listened to a few people have recommended, but for some reason I'm just not into listening to podcasts. I've listened on my phone.

How old will you be in the year 2030?

49.

How often does the kettle in your house get used?

What makes you think there is a kettle in my house?

Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from?

No, and no.

What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on?

Probably a plane ticket. Oh no, a credit credit card payment, ugh!

Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions?

It depends on whether I'm in the mood for talking or not.

What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy?

Scott. No frills & it lasts forever.

If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptable dressed?

It depends on who you are, but I guess not lol.

Why did you leave your last job?

Because money and status.

What color were the last socks you wore?

Hot pink I think.

Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study?

I'm always studying. One time some guy on the train asked me if I was in school (I was reading), I said no and he could not comprehend, then, why I was reading a book. "For fun?" Mostly. But there's stuff I love and need & I fold the pages & underline & reread. The level of education is superficial, like everything I've studied. I mostly study what being a human is like, and how to deal with the hard things in life.

Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying?

Yes. Many times. You know, when other people pay.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

We have a new dispatcher and around 4:40ish she'll say something weird like, 'Thank you for today. You're all awesome. Tomorrow will be even better.' (I'm not used to it.) The first time, I hit the pavement & the subway quick. Then at like 5:02 she was like, 'Well it's been swell,' or whatever. So Josie and I became concerned about which text means you're dismissed. Today, around 4:40ish again, she said 'Thank you for--' and I was literally like See ya! And started to head out. I texted Josie just to be silly, 'That means bye, right?' And she replied, only that instead of replying to me she replied to the work group! :'D I felt particularly silly during this toothy lol episode because at the time I was crossing the avenue, and I thought that people in their cars might be judging me for living my obviously fun phone life instead of seeing where I'm going.

What's your favorite scent of air freshener?

The white Lysol. I think it's fresh laundry. I haven't bought it in a while.

How many weddings have you ever been to?

Three.

Do you know anyone named Nora?

No. [But the patient I just had on day two of answering all these (and proofreading) was named Nora!]

Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi?

They're in good condition. I moisturize every day. I should put some polish on my nails today, or at least file them. My toenails are periwinkle & shiny.

7/11/17

When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play?

Probably Scrabble and I must have wanted to get a Q to try to use a winning technique, but Rose's ten-year-old son must have beat me anyway. And he was nine at the time.

How old were you when you first became sexually active? (consensual sex act)

The consensual sex act? Almost 17.

Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol?

No.

Do you own a record player and/or vinyls?

No.

When was the last time you went out for drinks?

About three weeks ago.

Have you ever been to a strip club?

Yes.

What's your favorite kind of smoothie?

Some berry with chocolate and peanut butter in it.

Do you know anyone with a 'virtue name'? (Google it)

No. But I love Hope, and Constance. And Temperance but just cuz of Bones.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather?

I probably do.

Have you taken out the trash today?

No.

How often do you wear make-up?

Mostly Monday through Friday.

What's your opinion on The Simpsons?

Love it/them.

Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes?

Horizontal.

What's your favorite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant?

Good question! I've searched high and low and long for the perf thing. It doesn't exist, yet. Blows my mind really. Most recently I've been fairly satisfied with the Donna Karan Cashmere Mist antiperspirant (it's just that the smell gets on all my clothes, though, and it's an antiperspirant, so it's probably staining them, too).

I am more satisfied with Lavanila The Healthy Deodorant, in Lavender Vanilla. The scent is very subtle. But it is just a deodorant, so you'll only smell fresh while you are fresh. I will definitely be purchasing the Pure Vanilla scent next though, as well. FYI there's a bunch of scents and you may test them all at C.O. Bigelow.

Other than that, I like the Burt's Bee Herbal Deodorant (smell nice/kind of protects, around the house); and the Dr. Hauschka's Rose Deodorant (smells superb!/kind of protects during light activity/it's $$$ though) (the Donna Karan is expensive, too, but will last way longer).

If I could only use one for the rest of my life it'd be Dove's Unscented aerosol antiperspirant.

In the words of mommy when I first began my search: "No one is going to tell you when you smell."

Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce?

Yes.

If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving?

No. I'd have a nice car and a funny driver who was sometimes quiet, too.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse?

No. I hear you start to miss chewing (and you're hungry of course, when there are plenty of involuntary tortures!)

Do you have any friends who you can't decide if they're attractive or not?

All my friends are attractive obvs.

Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out?

Yeah, kind of. There are two unfinished beverages in there (silly habit), and four celery stalks that may or may not be usable for a juice.

When was the last time you washed the dishes?

The day before yesterday.

Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis?

I answered this recently. The Atlantic, and The New York Review (which I actually haven't read in a while).

Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in?

In a considerable portion.

What's the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache?

Wonder why.

Tell me about your responsibilities at work.

I'll save that for my résumé.

What's your favorite style/cut of underwear?

The kind that is literally just a rectangle, so flattering, but they're hard to find, especially in a brand/fabric I like.

Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you?

Yes. Sometimes.

Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese?

Yes a friend made me come out all the way to Forest Hills, Queens, for it once.

Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers?

Yes. And they're their pacifier, too.

How old are your parents, anyway?

Mommy is 61, daddy is 71.

Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them?

No-t that I know of, like I tell docs/medical personnel. I don't know, just be you. Till your throat starts to close up.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment?

None. Thank God.

Do you hate it when people try really hard, or do you kinda like it?

I love it. It's cute.

What's your boss' first name? Do you call him/her by that name?

Well he deserves his privacy. But no I never utter his name. And I call him something else to others for lol's.

The boss always must have a nickname. (It's freaking hilarious, actually, and endearing.)

When was the last time you wore a uniform of any kind? What color was it?

When I was a candy striper? White and red stripes, on white, hence the name.

Do you complete a survey before taking this one? Will you take one after?

Huh, yeah probably, I like them.

Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size?

Umm... Sizes are kind of made up depending on the maker. I fluctuate a couple of pounds and wear different sizes.

What's your favorite kind of bread?

Venezuelan canillas.

When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get?

Haha. I had Lauren over specifically for the purpose of getting Domino's, which I hadn't had in years. I was disappointed that they changed the style, but it was still fun. I got jalapeño, pepperoni, and pineapple. I remember saying, "You can get three toppings?" That was... Dunno, like three weeks ago. I'm not a huge pizza person thank God. It's one of the worst foods.

Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version?

No, but I want to.

What was the last thing you said out loud?

Thank you? I'm at work. That's my filler word.

You have to choose one: cats or dogs?

Dogs.

Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them?

Yes, I prefer dog men. In fact, a cat man would need a lot of other amazing qualities for me to consider dating him.

How do you travel to and from work?

To: bus (currently) (ugh), train. From: train, walk.

Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why?

Cards. It's faster and leaves a record.

Have you ever been to a stadium concert?

Yes.
11:14 am
Overheard:
"Spanish looks like English."

(Little girl after it was explained to her that "that kind of language" was Chinese, and that no it was not known what it said, although considering the English text above it probably rendered the same information, but one could not be sure. And that the other one was Spanish.)
10:16 am
My own Huma Abedin sighting this morning! So I didn't have to count on Josie to tell me what she was wearing:

An off-white with blue flowers a-line dress, the structure and fabric a little on the heavy side for my taste for a humid day, but hey, I bet she doesn't have to stomp as much concrete as I do; geometric earrings; hair out; sunglasses; lipstick. I didn't get to see the shoes cuz it was only a few seconds and we were walking in opposite directions, so I was too busy noticing how small she actually is and seeing who she was with. But I bet pointy flats.

Me:

My highlighter-color with geometric plastic (!) decorations dress (I've never shown you this dress cuz it ended up being just a work dress, but it is pretty cool). I didn't want anything to touch me. I had to ruin it with a black cardigan I just threw on (irresistible shoulders/A/C). And green pointy flats. Huma & me.

***

Phrase that made me chuckle earlier this morning:

Pregnant person

--

We can't say woman?

Rightfully so, sometimes they're girls.
Sunday, July 9th, 2017
2:29 pm
Sunday professor,

IMG_6082.JPG

No just kidding. Just pushing 36. Today is my first summer Sunday of freedom!

Also I got a new mirror so enjoy better selfies! Or at least wider ones.
12:03 am
It's not like Let me drink this Frapuccino and look at some Instagrams, but I've been doing the elliptical regularly and do notice a change.

The first couple of times I was slightly sore the day after.

I've only remembered to stretch twice (the manual suggest a quick few positions, and still).

I think I had aimed for every day, but three to four times a week has been swell. Sometimes I even crave getting on it (or whatever word is two levels lower than crave). Initially I wanted to do 20 minutes (that's all the doc says you need), but quickly I was increasing it to 21, 23, until 25 was the norm. I increased the resistance to a little under halfway, and now even 30 minutes is not bad at all. The other night I did 37 minutes, cuz I had slacked for a couple of days (the holiday). The thing is that other things I never, ever considered before get measured, too! Namely, distance and calories (burned?), and your speed.

The first time my speed was 50, now I'm never under 65, and I like going 80-90 for a few seconds here & there. My first distance was one-point-something I think (I think I used to run about 1.5). I've gotten up to 3 miles now (on the machine). And calories... Well, I've never counted calories but I was still disheartened to see that those numbers were like 30 and such (how many is a Frapuccino?) (Don't tell me). Now the most I've burned is about 70. Does that make sense? It's all pretty new to me. But I like that I stopped looking at the time so much and instead started thinking things like I couldn't get off until I hit "2.8" miles cuz that's what I'd done the time before (and then why not do 3?!), never one-point-something anymore. Although I am considering mixing in a fast five minutes here and there before I shower sometimes. In like, my pajamas, no production. Oh all my cute workout clothes are so happy they're getting sweated on. Plus I don't have to worry about rapists and/or murderers, so I can wear just a sports bra. And care/or not about matching it to the shorts(/yoga shorts!) My shoes are mint green though, so sometimes I can't care. It's nice not to need socks, too. I have a plethora of cute workout clothes but like twelve pairs of socks, total, for all kinds of occasions.

I haven't tested my strength beyond just the machine. I could swear I didn't get short of breath on occasions when I usually did, but that happened right after day one, so I think it was just in my head. My legs did get definition quickly (they're always the first to respond). I have better posture and feel more lean. And even my stomach, which always has a delicious pouch below my belly button, got its middle line and the sides more defined. And my arms! One night I was rearranging myself in bed and I was surprised when I felt my hard biceps!

I have more energy! Which I notice in the little things like actually reading inspirational messages on the fridge, or cleaning around the house during the week, etc.

The machine itself has been a good puppy. It tipped at first but I was able to find and fix the problem ("the leveler"). It still kind of slowly and slightly slides over to one side sometimes (on hardwood floors). I might get a small mat? But I doubt it. That's not that bothersome (although that is what I used to think about the tipping) (I just, have a life! You know?)

Lauren wants to get one and I'm enthusiastically encouraging her to do so. It's only 80 bucks.

Anyway she just left. We were watching Dateline (the two-hour one; it's too long!). And just to give you a real life idea, I kind of wanted to do it after she left, take a quick shower before bed, but I was kind of cranky cuz there's some ghettoness in the outside ambience, so I decided I'd just read, or finish writing this. And earlier I thought I'd do it during the second half of my new favorite show, Crime 360, but I felt an overwhelming urge to, instead, clean the fan, which took me a long time. Then I was supposed to go out blah blah blah. I can do 40 minutes tomorrow!

The other thing I wanted to mention is that music works best for me. I tried it to the news (I often do it when I first get home and that's all that's on TV), depressing. Then I thought I'd rewatch something I've liked. But I'm not much of a rewatcher, and kind of lazy when it comes to turning on my computer/connecting it to the TV type-thing. So anyway, good old hip-hop and some dancehall I downloaded works well. I suppose I should be putting my attention and mindfulness into what I'm doing, and why. But it's a pretty hamster-wheel thing to do really so who cares? Fill my ears, my eyes, with something that makes me want to go on. Oh cuz sometimes I do watch something I like, too, and pause my iPod, and just play music during the commercials, which I've now noticed last about as long as a dancehall song, 3-4 minutes...
Friday, July 7th, 2017
7:34 pm
Yeah especially that one, baby. Thanks.

IMG_6069.JPG
3:10 pm
"There's a rumor," Josie told me as we sat down to lunch, "And you know the thing about rumors,"

"They're true," I said.

"Jonathan Villegas told me..." (the person I told you the other day I don't take seriously), first and last name.

This closing rumor has been going on for months, and months (and has manifested, gradually).

"That's why I was asking you about your dates..."

("Aren't you afraid?" She had said. "That woman..." I knew what she was talking about. We spend a lot of time together, and for the same reason I started a long answer, "I just kept looking at all the parallels. She was 36 when she joined,"
"I haven't looked at the details," Josie said.
"Right before or after she had had twins. Her children are all the same age as my friend's [will be in 10 years], and she was a nurse--"
"She was a nurse?" "Like my friend I spent the weekend with was, also when you have to make decisions about your life...--"

"No," I said ultimately. "I'm not afraid. Someone could come out of the elevator and shoot us." Like it happened in another hospital, also in the last few days. "And during the fireworks I thought--")

I have what-I-call "life events" coming up.

"You know they offer you a little package," she went on. "First they ask you where you'd like to go--"

"I'll take the package." She was laughing so hard as she got up (she got a case) that a crumb flew out of her full mouth. She pointed it out and laughed even harder. "I'll take the package behind Door 2!"

--

I was telling mallorys_camera that one of my favorite things in life is what people (regular people, passing by) say in the news. Their opinions, thoughts, their position. Yesterday the leading news was about train closings, or stations, tracks, delays, specifically at Penn Station. A man eating a meal at a table outside was questioned about his "plan B." I couldn't help but laugh when he swallowed and answered, "I'm just going to try to wing it, like I usually do, and hope for the best."

That's pretty much my philosophy.
Wednesday, July 5th, 2017
3:59 pm
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